My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
tell me about the fingering
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