Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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