She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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