if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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