I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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