kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
