you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
