Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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