Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
