The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
this will be a night to untag.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
