id be glad to
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
