My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize