John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
