he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize