You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Reggie can tackle my bush.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
