Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
