remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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