I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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