next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
