I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
