oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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