so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
