My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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