What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
