sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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