using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
do herpes really smell.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
