She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
