If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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