that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
