She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
