Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
