Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
