happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
