i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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