I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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