I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
