There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize