you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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