I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
