I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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