perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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