There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
