Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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