I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
