I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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