Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
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i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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