hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
