Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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