I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
