i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
