Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
