I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I love having hate sex.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
