If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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