i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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