this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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