Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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