Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
