you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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