I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
