a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
