your thong is hanging out like whoa
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
